Charlotte Mason-Curl started the No Crap Parties movement to help other parents resist the gifting status quo at children’s parties. She says it’s led to fewer awkward moments, less plastic tat – and more true connection
The balloons! The games! The sugar high! The table groaning with panic-bought presents. And of course, the party bag full of plastic doo-dahs, all destined to end up in landfill. Just what we always wanted … said no parent ever.
For families firmly in the pass-the-parcel years, birthday invites can be a source of stress, or even shame. Some 40% of parents say they dread the gifting aspect, while only 9% love it. But parties wouldn’t be parties without any presents … right?
Not according to No Crap Parties, a grassroots movement aiming to bin gifting conventions for something more sustainable – and more joyful.
“A lot of people see gifting as a love language,” says founder Charlotte Mason-Curl, mum to Heidi, four, and Max, 18 months. “Everyone wants the best for their kids, but we’re sold this idea that ‘the best’ means having loads of stuff. When actually, what kids really want is time with their loved ones.”
Like many parents, Mason-Curl experienced a rush of climate anxiety after the birth of her daughter. “I had this moment of going: ‘Oh my god, what is the world going to be like when she’s my age?’” Hearing about the slew of invites and “plastic tat” that awaited her once Heidi started school, she became determined to turn the tide.
“In the UK we buy around 28.5m new presents every year for kids’ parties aged 11 and under. And if a million children each attend five parties a year, and each party has a party bag with three plastic items in it, that’s 15 million short-lived pieces of plastic being handed out every year. It’s bonkers.”
Inspired by the Smartphone Free Childhood campaign, which helps parents present a united front in the struggle with big tech, she launched the Kids’ Party Pact – a digital pledge to take a low-waste approach to hosting and attending birthday parties. The response from parents has been overwhelmingly positive, and relieved. “I thought we were the only family who had these concerns and gripes,” wrote one signee. “So happy other parents feel the same!”
Beyond the environmental impact, there are other reasons to hold back the party avalanche. Clutter is high on the list for many pledgers, as well as the prohibitive cost. When surveyed, 43% said that having to buy presents for children’s parties put a strain on their family’s finances. Then there’s the sheer mental load of choosing, buying and wrapping all those gifts – a job that invariably falls on mums (of @no.crap.parties’ 3,200 Instagram followers, 95% are female).
The pact has three parts: agreeing not to give plastic-filled party bags; to give secondhand, homemade or experience gifts (or none); and to issue guidance on greener gifts for their own children. Parents can choose to sign whichever parts appeal to them.
What kids really want is time with their loved ones
“I wanted it to be really inclusive,” says Mason-Curl. “People’s friendship groups are all different, and for some people it might be more challenging than others. But I don’t think it’s about showing off. I think it’s about not wanting to be judged.”
No Crap Parties provides resources to ease potential tension, including suggested wording for invites to help parents communicate their stance without ruffling feathers at the school gates. For example: “If you insist on being a rulebreaker, a homemade card, a hand-picked flower or a baked goodie would be welcome (but not necessary!)”
“We’re so conditioned not to turn up empty-handed, even if we’re asked to,” she explains. “It’s better to give people guidance about what to bring than tell them not to bring anything, because often they go rogue and still bring ‘a little something’.” A little something times 20 equals a whole lot of tat.
Meanwhile, the pact is inspiring creative new ways to make parties magical. “There’s more focus on the experience, having fun with friends, rather than: ‘What are you going to get?’” says Mason-Curl. “My favourite was a party in the woods where the parents bought a bunch of secondhand dinosaurs very cheaply on Vinted, and the kids had to do a treasure hunt to find them all and build them little nests out of twigs and leaves. While they were having their picnic, the dinosaurs ‘laid’ chocolate eggs, and the children got to take the dinosaur and their egg home.”
Other popular alternatives include preloved book and toy swaps, handmade vouchers for experiences like cinema trips, and ‘fiver parties’, where guests slip a note or coin in a card to contribute to one big-ticket item.
“Kids don’t notice or care if something’s secondhand,” says Mason-Curl. Heidi’s fourth birthday featured a book swap, which inspired one of her friends to request a toy swap for her own party. “It’s social contagion. When other children and parents see it and realise it’s fun, it gives them the confidence and permission to do it themselves.”
Kids don’t notice or care if something’s secondhand
A marketing consultant by day, she recently launched a crowdfunding campaign to allow her to devote more time to the campaign. “Getting one million families to sign is the big goal. Wouldn’t it be amazing, if we could stop more than 20 million plastic things per year being unnecessarily bought and going straight in the bin.”
And then? “I’ve got my sights on Halloween and Christmas,” she laughs. “But for now, I’ll stick to presents and party bags.”
Changing the world: sometimes, it really is a piece of cake.
Images: Jack Roe
Find out more at nocrapparties.org
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