Mother, writer and actor Angela Garwood meets some of the women behind baby-friendly comedy clubs. They’re giving exhausted new parents the chance to laugh, connect and swap nursery rhymes for punchlines
I’m on stage performing a scene from my play about motherhood. My nerves are quickly soothed as the crowd is generous with its laughter, and the jokes go down well. But hang on … a couple of the audience members seem to be… crying. What was that? A piece of Lego has just been thrown at my head. This is my first experience of being heckled, and although it’s somewhat off-putting, I let it slide, because the offender is a restless two-year-old.
This isn’t your usual, Friday night, slightly drunk comedy crowd. It’s 11am on a Tuesday and if the audience is drunk on anything then it’s on breast milk and sleep deprivation. Dotted across the green velvet seats at the Phoenix Theatre in Bordon, Hampshire, are a gaggle of mums, babies and some decidedly judgmental toddlers.
I’m co-hosting Every Other Mother, a baby-friendly event for mums combining stand-up comedy, poetry, short stories and other creative writing. Co-founder Sally McIlhone, who describes the shows as a “lunchtime cabaret”, greets the arrivals in a bright orange sequinned skirt, floral shirt and leopard print boots.
Every Other Mother is one of a number of events across England that are designed to provide connection, support and entertainment for new parents, particularly mums. Becoming a mother can be lonely and isolating, with more than one in 10 women in the UK experiencing mental health challenges during pregnancy and in the first year after giving birth. These events are “like a lifeline” according to one mother who attended Bring Your Own Baby Comedy shows when her son, now eight, was little. They’re relaxed, non-judgmental and inclusive spaces, where poonamis and bare nipples don’t raise an eyebrow.
McIlhone, a writer and marketing officer at The Phoenix Theatre & Arts Centre, wanted to create a space where all mothers – from foster mums to grandmothers – could come together in a relaxed setting, learn something, have a laugh and feel inspired to tell their own unique story.
“I wanted anyone who came to feel like they’d found a place where they belonged,” says McIlhone, whose children are two and seven.
Every Other Mother’s Sally McIlhone (left) and Sophie Cameron (right). Credit: Every Other Mother
She launched the project in January 2024 with performance poet Sophie Cameron, aka Violet Malice, a fair-haired 30-something who performs in a red ruffed blouse, androgynous blazer and black bow tie. After giving birth in 2023, they bonded over “not fitting the traditional mummould”. While the other mums chatted about sleep training and brands of pushchairs, they swapped stories of loneliness, guilt and the relief of laughing at the hard bits.
With theatrical backgrounds, the pair were inspired to hold events that celebrate creativity in motherhood. “I wanted to prove to m/others that you can do anything – and that sometimes that stain-covered, sleep-deprived state brings out the best ideas,” says McIlhone, who welcomes anyone who identifies as a mother, people who’ve given birth – including surrogates – and mothers within the LGBTQ+ community.
The Cockpit Theatre in central London, another of their venues, feels part Edinburgh Fringe, part soft play corner at the library. Baby mats and toys find a home near the stage, while pizza and prosecco are served at the interval.
I wanted anyone who came to feel like they’d found a place where they belonged
“Just because we’ve had babies, doesn’t mean we’ve had lobotomies,” says audience member Jen Clarke, a corporate finance director. “Having adult-focused, motherhood-related content that also hits all the feels is a perfect antidote to singing The Wheels on the Bus for the 30th time.”
Hatty Ashdown, comedian and host of the daytime comedy Screaming with Laughter shows, held around London, takes to the microphone at the Cockpit as two drooling toddlers crawl on to the stage to attempt to join her. One raises a hand in the air to alert Ashdown to his presence. This baby knows his audience and the crowd is smitten. Ashdown, in her chunky black specs and giant bow headband, navigates this sweet scene seamlessly, encouraging the babies before moving on to recount her first anecdote.
Bring Your Own Baby comedy shows are among the more established events on the scene, born in 2016 from what founders Alyssa Kyria and Carly Smallman call a “drunken idea” over a bottle of bubbly. Now in 27 venues, the shows give parents the chance to take the weight off and be entertained.
Hatty Ashdown performing at Screaming with Laughter in London. Credit: Scott Kingsnorth
“The first show was really special,” says comedian Kyria, AKA The Funny Mummy. “It was just a gorgeous thing to see all these mums having a laugh and letting loose a little bit.”
Smallman remembers the time a woman once came up to her after a show and explained that her baby was looking up at her [the mother’s] face, “kind of weirdly, the whole show, and then it clicked that that was the first time her baby had seen her laugh”.
“We were in bits,” added Kyria. “Her baby was like ‘Oh! This is nice! Mummy’s laughing!’ because she’d had a really tough time.”
Of course no one attends a comedy show without the expectation of, at some point, being made fun of. One proud mum readily entered into such an exchange when she volunteered her son’s name in comedian Sarah Iles’ Who Has The Best Baby Name? game. The moniker in question?Apollo. “After number 11 or 13?” replied Iles, with whip-smart timing. Though the mother herself was not impressed. “I was like: ‘Oh God I’ve fudged this one’ … and then she went: ‘No no, after the Greek god’,” recounts the comedian.
Francesca Hindmarch, founder of Milk Club Comedy. Credit: Frankie B
Iles: “Is this your first child?” It wasn’t.
Iles: “What in God’s name did you call your first child then? This is going to be amazing.”
Mother: “Oh … Bob.”
“The crowd absolutely lost it.”
Women will often give Iles a hug after a baby-friendly gig, which she describes as “more personal” than her usual shows. “They’ll say: ‘I really needed that. I’ve had a really hard couple of weeks, and this has made me feel so much better’,”she explains. “I feel like I’m making a difference.”
Adult-focused content is a perfect antidote to singing The Wheels on the Bus for the 30th time
The Milk Club Comedy is bringing the same spirit to Bradford in the north of England. Co-founded by Francesca Hindmarch, a background actress and events manager, and nurse-comedian Maxine Wade in 2024, it thrives on what Hindmarch calls brutal honesty. “There’s no sugar-coating here. Everybody in that room needs it, because it’s funny,” she says.
“We all need togetherness, and a bloody good laugh,” says attendee Sally Hebden. “The first one I went to felt incredible … such a lovely break from all the worry and fatigue. I laughed like I hadn’t for some time.”
So, what’s next? Baby-friendly circus shows? Toddler-approved jazz mornings? Why not? There’s clearly a milk-thirsty market for it. Just keep the Lego at home.
Illustration: Alex Tait
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