Life lessons: Katherine Ryan on what life so far has taught her

My morning ritual is …

… drinking coffee and playing with the toddlers. If it all kicks off at 5.30am, I’m not too pleased, but it always gets me started.

I feel optimistic about …

… the prospect of having another child in my 40s.

What makes me angry 

Very little. But I do get angry when my husband opens the door when the kids are in the bath, because it gets cold.

If I wasn’t a comedian, I’d have liked to become …  

… a midwife. I just love it. I think I have the right energy, but I’d be ‘bad cop’ midwife. I’d be very ‘motivational’ – but there would be complaints.  

The habit that has served me best in life is … 

… hyper-independence, as a trauma response. It’s self-sufficiency but in a way that pushes people away. Where you think: ‘I don’t need anything from anyone.’ You don’t trust anyone. It comes from being let down a lot, so it’s a bad thing, but I’ve found it to be a really good thing for me in my life. 

The habit I’ve successfully kicked is … 

… biting my nails. I used to bite my nails all my life, right down to really unattractive stubs, but I don’t bite them at all now, ever.  

My sources of joy are   

I’d like to give a funnier answer than my dogs, my family, my children, white wine … I could say solitude. I really like white wine and reality TV and being left alone. It’s rare that it happens when you have kids.  

The book I wish everyone would read is … 

I’m not great at books but I like a book called The Making of The English Working Class by the historian E.P. Thompson. It was recommended to me by [British rapper, author and activist] Akala. We don’t have class in Canada at all. We’re all the same: some of us are rich, some of us are less rich, but we don’t really have private schools, and we don’t have that same class divide.

When I came to the UK from Canada, I had some understanding of the way the country works and history and colonialism and class. But I was very curious about the subscription to the class system here. This book gives a very academic but very thorough and purposeful explanation of how that came to be.   

My parents’ toxic divorce actually helped me to have a very harmonious split and to co-parent nicely

The thing that motivates me most of all is … 

… a freelance mindset that every job could be your last job. I feel very grateful that people still buy tickets to come see my shows on purpose, so I just always want to do a new tour and to try my best.  

My parents taught me …  

… how to have a really toxic divorce. It actually helped me when I left my daughter Violet’s father many years ago – it helped me to have a very harmonious split and to co-parent nicely. I’m honestly not trying to be rude about my parents: I’m grateful that they taught me that lesson.  

I’d like to tell my younger self …  

… almost nothing because I want everything to work out the same. But I would like to tell my younger, teenaged self not to be sad when Bobby [Kootstra] dumped you because you will get your revenge decades later when he’s your husband. Bobby and I dated when we were younger, and then got together again decades later, in 2018. So, I’d say “Don’t get mad – get married.”

Season two of At Home With Katherine Ryan will air on U&W from this week and can be streamed for free on U  

Images: Adam Lawrence/UKTV